Comments on: Short Food Questions

By: Amos the Poker Cat

Amos the Poker Cat — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 20:51:39 +0000

Hot Krispy Kremes are the accended form of doughnuts, leaving only an ethereal outline of their existence on our material plane. Clearly, you are possesed by evil Thetan doughnuts that lurk on the PA TP. Kindly pay Tom Cruise a couple of grand to yell at you while you hold a fancy skin resistance ohm meter.

By: John

John — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 19:01:08 +0000

The Important Trick with the proper New England apple pie is to get all the right ingredients to do all the right things.

1. The crust should be flakey, a little chewy and consistent no matter what part you bite into (bottom, edge, whatever). The crust should not be a brick, for instance. This is Super Difficult to get right.

2. The apples should be a little more tart than sweet, probably a MacIntosh — never one of the Generi-Apple types that look like Disney produced them.

3. The filling should have some firmness, so that it doesn’t schlump all over the plate. Yes, the apples should be thoroughly cooked. Yes, the filling should have cinnamon — and nutmeg and a little ginger.

4. The resulting pie should be good hot or cold.

Vanilla ice cream or sharp cheddar cheese is optional.

By: april

april — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 00:31:11 +0000

I think “dry” is what you might want at Starbucks, since they seem to really overdo it on the milk (in my experience, anyhow). At least if there’s not enough milk, you can suck off some foam and then pour in a little milk from the pitcher at the condiment stand. Too much milk and it’s just ruined.

psu, i will remember not to bring flourless chocolate cake over, but if your wife is unhappy about this, I’m blaming you.

By: psu

psu — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:28:08 +0000

The alternative right word is “latte”. The Seattle cappucino is just hopeless. Give up.

By: peterb

peterb — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:22:36 +0000

Based on my experiences at other Seattle-based chains, which all do the hyper-retarded Seattle-style foamacino, the right word is “wet.”

By: Benoit

Benoit — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 20:12:11 +0000

A friend of mine claims that there’s a magic word you’re supposed to say that makes the Starbucks drones put the correct amount of milk in the cap. No, I didn’t bother to commit it to memory.

By: Adam Vandenberg

Adam Vandenberg — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 16:37:24 +0000

An apple pie must also have ginder, and possibly Grand Marnier (or cheaper baking equivalent.)

By: Doug

Doug — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 15:22:38 +0000

See, crispy apple pie makes better breakfast pie than mushy apple pie. And what really makes apple pie a travesty is letting the dutch anywhere near it. Apple pie must have cinnamon, and a fair bit of it or it is no better than what you might get at McDonalds.

If you provide me with severeal flourless chocolate cakes I will tell you whether they are morally repugnant or not.

By: Shelby Davis

Shelby Davis — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 12:43:33 +0000

Mmm… Cider Donuts.

Apple pie is a large and diverse group of pastry, unfortuately allowing for a large degree of suckitude.

Personally, my current favorite is Tart Tatin, adding to my belief that the French make everything good by just adding a crapload of butter to it, much like Paula Deen.

As for flourless cake, it makes sense that gluten would be an enemy here and you could make a decent flourless chocolate cake, but I think I know the kind to which psu referes, and it is really a poor substitute for a healthy dose of fudge.

And I’m morally disordered, so I won’t comment on the coffee other than to say you should just drink tea.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 02:44:48 +0000

Starbucks Cappucinos are even more of a travesty than their other products in my opinion…
It’s simple, really. One or two shots, twice as much milk, and a tiny bit of foam. The ones they sell now are pretty much lattes.