Tea Leaves: DVD Menus: A Desperate Plea

July 27, 2004

DVD Menus: A Desperate Plea

by psu

Here is what happens to me on a regular basis when trying to access the various "extras" on a DVD release:

- Put DVD into player.

- Watch the FBI warning for 5 minutes while the controls on the player are locked out.

- Watch 5 minute cut scene from the movie or whatever.

- Watch for 5 minutes as the menu animates into the screen.

- Click around at random with the arrow keys on my DVD remote and squint at the screen to see if the state changed at all.

- Hit Play at the wrong time. Watch another little canned animation that means the track I picked is about to play.

- Hit Stop, then Menu, watch 10 more minutes of cut scenes as the menu comes back to the screen.

Rip DVD player out of the wall and throw it through a window.

So, my question is, why do they do this to me? Who thinks this is a good idea? Who are the poor slobs working at the media companies spending months developing this drek that is specifically designed to make it difficult and time consuming to actually play the content that I bought the disk to see?

The most egregious example of this sort of "design" was the DVD for Daredevil. The menus on that disk were all done with the same visual effects used to simulate how Daredevil sees the world. Trouble is, Daredevil is blind. The effect of this is that it is completely impossible to read the menus at all. Brilliant!

My only conclusion is that the people who package this stuff are dumber than rocks.

My Plea: please free me from this awful world.

Posted by psu at July 27, 2004 12:29 AM | Bookmark This

Comments

Amen. DVD menu programmability: dumbest. idea. EVER.

Posted by Eric Tilton at July 27, 2004 12:49 AM

"Who are the poor slobs working at the media companies spending months developing this drek that is specifically designed to make it difficult and time consuming to actually play the content that I bought the disk to see?"

My theory: Design interns, trying to pad their nascent portfolios with something "cool."

Posted by tmoertel at July 27, 2004 08:40 AM

There really is only one answer. Don't buy DVDs. If you have to, and they have menu drek, return to shop.

Or, if you can stomach the extra work, go violate the DMCA. Rip content, burn to separate DVD, enjoy without garbage. For bonus points, get sued for that.

Posted by Robert 'Groby' Blum at July 27, 2004 11:00 AM

What annoys me to no end is when the "play" button does nothing at all. What moron decided that in order to play the movie I had to move the cursor around until the word "play" is highlighted on the screen, then hit the "select" button? You would think that interface designers would be intelligent enough to make the "play" button be a nice shortcut for, uh, playing the movie.

Posted by Chris Colohan at July 28, 2004 07:58 PM

I bought some DVDs of some BBC shows I like, and the start goes something like this:

Reads disk, menu button disabled.

FBI warning, menu button disabled.

Interpol warning, menu button disabled.

General BBC video commercial (claymation Queen), menu button disabled - if you try to FF it will bounce back to the start, reading the disk.

Specific BBC video commercial (30 seconds of clips from a show I never heard of), menu button disabled - - if you try to FF it will bounce back to the start, reading the disk.

SECOND! BBC video commercial (30 seconds of clips from a show I never heard of), menu button disabled - - if you try to FF it will bounce back to the start, reading the disk.

Now I'm pissed. Maybe in England they have time to sit through this crap, but us Americans are TOO busy for it.

Finally I see the menu.

Episodes or special features? Pick 'Episodes'.

Which of 6 Episodes do I want (based on title)? I think this one.

Watch obligatory 30-second show title segment. Obligatory and identical for each episode.

Argh!!

Wrong episode. Try to back out, and get sent back to step one, reading the disk!

Posted by Tripp at July 30, 2004 12:18 PM

General hint: stop, stop, play. It's like Konami Code of DVD playback, and it works on most DVD players, with most DVDs. Just hit it after you get past the obligatory warning junk, and be happy. Unfortunately, some DVDs want to play ads at you after you do this (Disney discs, iirc).

I can't wait for the dual-layer DVD burners to get cheap enough to make nearly-perfect ripped copies of DVDs doable on my budget...

Posted by Josh at August 1, 2004 10:29 PM

Use a libdvdcss-enabled player on your computer: vlc is good.

Posted by OnyxG7 at September 27, 2004 10:26 AM

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