Modern Television Strikes AgainJul 16, 2008 · psu · 3 minute read
The request was simple. Tape 2 hours of content from Versus every day from noon until 2pm so that I could watch a nice summary of the daily Tour De France stage without undue stress. The two hour summary is the best because it won’t get cut off due to the vagaries of live programming, and unlike the 8pm repeat, it does not feature two neanderthal retards doing the commentary.
Of course, even with all of the world’s 21st century technology brought to bear, this simple task proves to be impossible. This is why broadcast television is doomed.
What I found when I opened up my Tivo this afternoon after work was two hours of CNBC droning about oil prices. The machine mocked my by putting the Versus logo over this for the first minute or so, even though it was clear that what I was watching was CNBC. No Phil Ligget. No Paul Sherwen. No Stage 11 for me today since there is no fucking way I’m going to watch those two frat boys in the 8pm broadcast drool all over themselves.
I made that mistake already a few stages ago where the sum total of the commentary on the final sprint could be summarized as
“Uhhh, guuhhh, ooooh, guuuh”
That is a direct quote.
So what has caused this insult to my person? The best guess is that in their infinite wisdom Comcast has made sure that I will never be able to retrieve the content I want because they have shifted the channels around without informing anyone. The result is that until the Tivo catches up, it is completely fucking useless.
What all this reminds me of is the airline industry. Here you have another entrenched set of businesses that only survive because they own something (their routes) that which would be expensive for someone else to obtain. In the case of TV the thing the retarded incompetant bastards own is the content and the means to limit the distribution of said content to specific times and places. Thus, since Comcast moved their channels I can’t ever watch what I wanted to watch because now the bits are on the floor somewhere.
What I don’t understand is why Comcast (and to some extent Tivo) want to make this so hard for me. Presumably they make money by delivering the content I want at the time I would like it. It seems irrational to me for them to constantly treat their customers like dogmeat. Unless of course they are taking their business models from the airlines.
If I were smart I would give up. But I have an irrational attachment to live sports which makes this impractical. I guess it’s time to try Verizon FIOS. It’s pretty sad when your customer service record makes Verizon look attractive. Good job Comcast.