Apostate

For Friday, it’s a miscellaneous grab bag of opinions that will get you in trouble if you say them out loud in the wrong crowds.

• I didn’t dislike Super Mario Sunshine because it was “childish.” I disliked it because it was “hideously boring.”

• No one, anywhere in the entire world wants to buy a TabletPC with their own money. Get over it. (Yes, Robert Scoble, I’m talking to you.)

• Owning a Leica doesn’t mean you’re a good photographer. It just means you’re a gullible one.

• Every time I read some stupid rant by ESR or RMS, I get the urge to go buy a Microsoft product in an act of protest.

• “Kosher” is a word used by Jewish people to refer to a complex series of processes and rituals designed to remove all flavor from food.

• Free-software image-manipulation tool “The Gimp” sucks. And so does the name. People who claim to like it are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

• “Fair Trade” coffee means that I pay more for the coffee beans, but then to make up for it they taste like crap.

• That video game you spent all that time playing in Junior High? The one you feel all nostalgic over and wish that games today were half as good? The one that was really deep and complex and kept you immersed for hours of gameplay? It sucked.

• Also, in retrospect, your first boy and/or girlfriend wasn’t that hot, either.

• Anyone who thinks great software is mostly a matter of good technical engineering simply does not understand the real problems involved.

• The Streets album A Grand Don’t Come For Free is really, really, really, stunningly terrible. If you like it, you are a poseur.

• In 20 years, Alanis Morissette will be known as our generation’s Cyndi Lauper.

• Whatever scripting language you are promoting this week sucks, unless it happens to be one I already know.

• “Vegan” is from the Latin, meaning “can’t cook”.

• Real developers ship. The corollary to this is that if you don’t have deadlines, you’re not a real developer.

• Yep, that sure is one ugly baby.