The Package

Firms spend millions upon millions of dollars conceiving, developing, building, marketing, and advertising their wares. They beg us to buy them. Their very existence depends on our whim and desire.

And then, when victory is at hand, and when the cash has been transferred, they show their appreciation for us by making it impossible to actually open the god forsaken package in which the item is stored. For this, someone must suffer. I direct my wrath at the inventors of three banes of my existence, in order of the virulence of their creation.

1. That form of shrinkwrap that is absolutely smooth and tight over the CD or DVD box. So smooth and so tight that it is impossible to tear into it without damaging the box.

2. The mental midgets who seem to think it is necessary to cover every god- damned hinged surface of a box with a “security” bar code sticker. They don’t do this in Canada.

3. Finally, and with the most hatred, whoever invented blister pack. Hopefully this guy will end up in a special circle of Dante’s hell, permanently trapped in a gigantic container for a PS2 controller, without the jackhammer he needs to escape.