You Can Never Be Too Rich, Or Have Too Many Pants

It started, as it always does, with a random connection, a set of neurons in my brain that misfired in an amusing way.

Someone was talking about how someone they knew was wearing hideous pants. The word “hideous” made me think of a book by the execrable C.S. Lewis (yes, the Narnia one) called That Hideous Strength. This book is about the Asskicking Jesus. Earth is under threat from space aliens, so the Asskicking Jesus flies to Mars to beat them up until they stop.

No, really. That’s what the book is about. I swear. God, I really hate C.S. Lewis.

Anyway, one thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had blurted out, as if it were the title of a book, “THOSE HIDEOUS PANTS”. And we were off to the races. We changed the rules about halfway through, but it doesn’t really matter. Even though we’ve done this before, it’s still pure comedy gold.

Enjoy, and as always, feel free to add your own.

65. C.S. Lewis, THOSE HIDEOUS PANTS [peterb]

64. A STRANGER IN STRANGE PANTS [fpereira]

63. THE MAN FROM P.A.N.T.S. [peterb]

62. CONSIDER CHINOS [fpereira]

61. THE USE OF PANTS [fpereira]

60. THE LEFT PANTS OF DARKNESS [goob]

59. DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC PANTS ? [shafeeq]

58. BRAVE NEW PANTS [fpereira]

57. THE SHAPE OF PANTS TO COME [fpereira]

56. I HAVE NO PANTS, BUT I MUST DRESS [psu]

55. PANTS NINE FROM OUTER SPACE [sdavis]

54. THE PANTS OF NAVARRONE [shafeeq]

53. FORBIDDEN TROUSER [peterb]

52. A STRANGER IN SOME STRANGE PANTS [goob]

51. SUEDE RUNNER [mahim]

50. PANTS ATTACK ! [shafeeq]

49. METROPOPANTS [sdavis]

48. PANTS-in-the-Mist [baird]

47. PANTS ON A PLANE [sdavis]

46. SOMETHING PANTSLESS THIS WAY COMES [goob]

45. PANTSLAND [tomault]

44. THE PANTS OF CTHULHU [tomault]

43. THE PANTS MACHINE [goob]

42. MURDER IN THE RUE PANTS [sdavis]

41. SLACKERS [baird]

40. THE REDISCOVERY OF PANTS [psu]

39. THE DREAM QUEST OF UNKNOWN PANTS [shafeeq]

38. LIKE WATER FOR GAUCHOS [peterb]

37. THE MAN IN THE IRON DOCKERS [agroce]

36. PANTS AND PREJUDICE [sdavis]

35. A CLOCKWORK KHAKI [peterb]

34. STAR WARS, EPISODE V: THE GAP STRIKES BACK [peterb]

33. PANTZER BLITZ. [baird]

32. THE ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS PANTS [norm.z]

31. CAT IN NO PANTS [sdavis]

30. THE MAN WITH NO PANTS [shafeeq]

29. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a pair of jeans hugging a human ass – forever. [peterb]

28. SHORTSCUTS [goob]

27. PANTSLESS IN SEATTLE. [baird]

26. “Call me Levi.” [peterb]

25. “My god, it’s full of pants!” [sdavis]

24. “As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant zipper.” [peterb]

23. “They were the best of pants. They were the worst of pants.” [tomault]

22. “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover denim.” [peterb]

21. “You can wear pants if you want to, you can leave your pants behind. But if you wear pants, and your friends wear pants, then you’re no pants of mine” [sdavis]

20. “Of all the pants in the world, she had to walk into mine” [shafeeq]

19. Little Lord Corduroy. [baird]

18. “In the beginning was the Slack.” [peterb]

17. “Midway upon the road of our life I found myself within some dark pants,” [goob]

16. Young CalvinKlein [baird]

15. Doogie Trouser, M.D. [rlink]

14. Weathering Tights [baird]

13. Crocodile Dungarees [rlink]

12. The Clother [baird]

11. “Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor pants.” [peterb]

10. Merry Pantless, Mr. Lawrence [baird]

9. “I say God damn, God damn the Pedal-Pusher man.” [rlink]

8. Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was pantsed. [tmwong]

7. I pantsed a man in Reno, just to watch him dress. [agroce]

6. Little Pants, Big Pants [baird]

5. Big Trousers in Little Chinos-town [rlink]

4. THE FLY [psu]

3. THE FLY: REOPENED [psu]

2. The Good, the Plaid and the Ugly. [baird]

1. PANTS: INTERRUPTED [psu]