The Cars Make the Man
Aug 8, 2006 · peterb · 2 minute readCulture
What we drive speaks volumes about us. But sometimes, the message that we think we’re giving off isn’t the message everyone hears. The Car | The Owner
| Thinks | Everyone Else Thinks | |
|---|---|---|
| Any minivan | “I am a responsible mother, dedicated to the safety of my | |
| children.” | “These annoying breeders are everywhere.” | |
| Any SUV | “I am not driving a minivan. See this car? Not a minivan. It cost | |
| twice as much, because it is definitely not a minivan.” | “Great. Now the | |
| really stupid breeders are everywhere too.” | ||
| Toyota Prius | “I care about the environment” | “If he really cared about the |
| environment, he’d be using public transit.” | ||
| Honda Element | “How come the guy in the Prius is getting dates with all the | |
| hippie chicks?” | “Clowns are scary.” | |
| BMW Z3 | “Ahhhh, German engineering.” | “You are driving a chick car.” |
| Porsche Boxster | “I am sporty, yet sophisticated.” | “He couldn’t afford a |
| Porsche 911” | ||
| Porsche 911 | “I have an 8 inch penis.” | “He is bald.” |
| Ferrari 360 Modena | “I don’t care what you think of me, because my trophy | |
| wife is 40 years younger than me.” | “I got nothin'.” | |
| Camaro | “I’m gonna go down to Donzi’s tonight and score.” | “I thought |
| dinosaurs were extinct.” | ||
| Ford Escort/Focus | “I am economical.” | “He is cheap.” |
| Subaru WRX | “Check out my Rallisport style!” | “At least he doesn’t have |
| those spinning hubcaps.” |
Feel free to add entries in the comments as appropriate.
P.S.: On one final note, I couldn’t find a place for the Porsche Cayenne in this table, because I can’t imagine what anyone who buys it could possibly be thinking. But I just wanted to assure all of you Cayenne owners out there: the rest of us think you’re utter cocks.
P.P.S.: I humped your hummer (via green la girl).