The Cars Make the Man

What we drive speaks volumes about us. But sometimes, the message that we think we’re giving off isn’t the message everyone hears. The Car | The Owner

Thinks Everyone Else Thinks
Any minivan “I am a responsible mother, dedicated to the safety of my
children.” “These annoying breeders are everywhere.”
Any SUV “I am not driving a minivan. See this car? Not a minivan. It cost
twice as much, because it is definitely not a minivan.” “Great. Now the
really stupid breeders are everywhere too.”
Toyota Prius “I care about the environment” “If he really cared about the
environment, he’d be using public transit.”
Honda Element “How come the guy in the Prius is getting dates with all the
hippie chicks?” “Clowns are scary.”
BMW Z3 “Ahhhh, German engineering.” “You are driving a chick car.”
Porsche Boxster “I am sporty, yet sophisticated.” “He couldn’t afford a
Porsche 911”
Porsche 911 “I have an 8 inch penis.” “He is bald.”
Ferrari 360 Modena “I don’t care what you think of me, because my trophy
wife is 40 years younger than me.” “I got nothin'.”
Camaro “I’m gonna go down to Donzi’s tonight and score.” “I thought
dinosaurs were extinct.”
Ford Escort/Focus “I am economical.” “He is cheap.”
Subaru WRX “Check out my Rallisport style!” “At least he doesn’t have
those spinning hubcaps.”

Feel free to add entries in the comments as appropriate.

P.S.: On one final note, I couldn’t find a place for the Porsche Cayenne in this table, because I can’t imagine what anyone who buys it could possibly be thinking. But I just wanted to assure all of you Cayenne owners out there: the rest of us think you’re utter cocks.

P.P.S.: I humped your hummer (via green la girl).