Game Publisher To Release Game Soon; We Reprint Their Press Release Here

Tea Leaves has learned that PR Games' new title, Hype V: Revenge of Hypenos, has gone pre-gold. Hype V, the fifth entry in the ground-breaking Hype series, has been eagerly awaited by gamers everywhere. In an interview, included in the press release, PR Games president Barry Womble said “I am pleased to make a statement that will make sure that all news coverage of Hype V will be ‘on message’: Bump mapping. Online multiplayer. Exciting downloadable content.”

PR Games Liason to Online Amateur Press, Judy Nails, concurred with Womble’s analysis. “We think that Hype V, with its bump mapping, online multiplayer, and excitable downloadable content, is going to be warmly received by the online community, the ‘early adopters’ and the ‘hardcore’. In fact, we know it will be, because they have no choice. The gamers who read gaming websites religiously visit sites that update regularly. The gaming websites themselves are therefore driven by a need to publish many articles a day, in order to appear current. But who wants to generate that much original content? No one! Consequently, we send out our press releases and the gaming websites publish them practically verbatim, sometimes just prepending ‘[Site name here] has learned that…'” God," Nails gushed, “it’s almost like a dream come true.”

When asked by herself whether any gaming sites might decline to print the release, or whether sites might publish details not included in the release to get exclusive content, Nails smiled ruefully. “That doesn’t really happen very often. First off, most people reading the web are just skimming articles, not reading in depth. So if 8 gaming magazines print a press release, and a 9th one doesn’t, the conclusion the casual reader reaches is that the 9th site isn’t as up to date as all the others. So you have to print something. And as for doing research and getting a scoop: what is there to say other than ‘Hype V, with its bump mapping, online multiplayer, and exciting downloadable content is coming out soon?’ No, we fully expect that everyone will be on message. Hype V will be in stores this spring. Pre-order your copy today!”

News of Hype V’s imminent release has spread quickly throughout the blogosophere. Hundreds of gaming news sites are lauding it for its impressive bump-mapping, its online multiplayer, and its exciting downloadable content. To learn more about Hype V visit our “media” area, where you can find PR Games-provided screenshots onto which we have placed a Tea Leaves watermark. You’ll also find movies in several video formats, none of which are supported by your browser, and an area to download demos that will make you register with our site, click on 13 pop-up ads and wait in line for 20 minutes before downloading the file, during which the download will hang halfway through. Users who pay for our “Platinum Account” will only have to wait for 3 minutes.

Uncritical, fawning “previews” of Hype V based entirely on press packet materials are expected in the March issues of all gaming magazines everywhere. Tea Leaves looks forward to intially declaring Hype V to be a “must buy” and “Game of the Year,” and only using it as an example of one of the 10 worst games of the decade about 18 months from now, when most of our readers will have forgotten that they purchased the game based on our recommendation.