Tea Leaves

In Shadyside tonight I noticed that the queue for the iPhone has already started:

I took the opportunity to do a quick on-the-spot interview with the guys who dared to be first. The video and audio quality is pretty poor, but nonetheless…here it is.

As psu mentioned yesterday, Pokémon on the Nintendo DS is the new obsession.

Being a consummate joiner, I am not afraid to admit that my descent into the Pokéworld was due to Penny Arcade’s ungrudging respect for the game, coupled with a purely base financial motivation: I’m reviewing Pokémon Diamond and Pearl for PTD Magazine. After just two days playing the DS game, I found myself scrounging the local used game stores for the older GBA games so I could understand exactly what I had been missing all these years: the best Japanese RPG since Earthbound.

I consider myself a gamer with a particularly broad background, but I was an adult long before Pokémon became popular. Perhaps to avoid even the appearance of creepiness I just never bothered to find out what Pokémon was about. I knew it had something to do with monsters, and collecting, and battling, and it was marketed directly at grade school children. And that’s about it.

So what is Pokémon, really? Quite simply, it is a traditional Japanese style RPG with a collecting game built in. In the prototypical JRPG, your character has “stats”, and can pick up items which enhance those stats, allowing your avatar to kill bigger monsters. In other words, RPGs are games about making a number — here at Tea Leaves, we call it “R” — bigger. In Pokémon, your character has no “R” of her or his own. Instead, you carry around little balls with monsters in them. The monsters have “R”.

The game is superbly designed and balanced. At almost every point when you are uncovering “new” territory, battles are challenging without being impossbile. This means the game feeds you a constant sense of achievement. Healing for your little monsters is freely available practically everywhere. The game allows (and even rewards) iterative play (fight the first foe in an area, go heal up, return to fight the next guy). You can save anywhere, when not actually in the middle of a battle (so it’s already better than most other JRPGs out there by default).

There are times that I wish I could turn down the random battle encounter rate, yes. But to paraphrase the great jazz saxophonist Cosmo Jacobi, “With chicks like Shalimar, there’s just some things you gotta put up with.” Random battles are, to a large extent, what the game is actually about.

Different people get into different aspects of the game. Last week on vacation I was playing the DS when my friend’s kid asked what I was doing. When I told him “Pokémon Diamond“, he commenced to chatter for an entire hour, quizzing me in great detail about exactly which pokémon I had caught, and whether I liked Pikachu or Raichu more, and did I have this one, and he knew this guy who finished the whole game by catching every Pokémon. For this kid, the RPGness of the game was nothing more than a superstructure on which to hang the very serious work of catching them all. For me, catching them all is just another task I need to undertake to complete the game.

This latest version of Pokémon comes with substantial online features. I need psu to hurry up and level up his little monsterlings so that we can have a proper battle which results in more than his quick and ignominious defeat. In a nice twist, pokémon that you trade via the wireless connection gain more experience than pokémon that you find in the wild, which provides a nice incentive to interact with your friends in homeroom. Uh, I mean, on the internet.

The one thing about the game that I find disturbing is the somewhat relentless self-reference of it all. In the world of Pokémon, everything revolves around the little bastards. If you need to open a can, there’s a can-opening pokémon somewhere that can do it for you. There are even churches where little characters sit around and make poetic comments about how important peace and love is between man and pokémon. It’s a bit like wandering into a world populated by the sorts of people who go to Star Trek conventions. This, in turn, makes me realize that somewhere out there there is probably Pokémon “slash” fiction, which in turn makes me want to curl up into a fetal position and weep (update: oh god, it’s true).

All that being said, complaining that a game marketed to children takes itself in earnest is a bit unfair. So if you can get past that bit, and past a slightly clumsy user interface, what you’ll find is a game with intricate, yet easy to grasp, rock-paper-scissors mechanics that are more absorbing than they have any right to be. And that’s for half the price of the latest boring World War II Xbox 360 shooter. I have already spent more time walking through the virtual wilds in Pokémon Diamond than I spent playing most of the PS2 or Xbox games I bought last year. This is in part because the game is constantly giving you little micro-rewards (through collecting new pokémon, or through other mechanics), but also because there is no flailing. It’s always crystal clear to me what I need to do next to progress (compare this to, say, Viva Piñata, which for all its beauty always leaves me saying “Huh? What did I just do to make that happen?”)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go read a walkthrough so I can find out if this Pachirisu I caught will evolve into another form if I train it enough.

Today a discussion of two games that have been around for a long time, and are still more interesting to play than most of the new games. I suppose it’s possible that my current state of mind makes me more inclined to stick with the familiar. I think it’s more likely that these games are just better.

First, Resident Evil 4 again. For some reason I just can’t stop playing this game. This time it’s on the Wii, and this version of the game combines what was best about the previous two releases into a single package of enjoyable zombie slaughter. Now that I’m in the habit of buying this game once a year, I wonder what they’ll do next year to make me buy it again? Maybe an Xbox 360 port with multiplayer?

So, here is what to like about the Wii version:

1. 16×9 progressive scan graphics without the mushy jaggy PS2 “looks-like-ass” filter. This is a slight upgrade from what was on the ‘Cube and what was on the PS2.

2. Same great zombie head exploding gameplay.

3. Same great pacing.

The Wii controls are hit and miss. I find the nunchuck to be a poor substitute for the left analog stick on a regular controller. It is tiring to hold it in place and push the stick around to move. Also, the gun aiming mechanic in this game is wierd. You use the pointer to aim the gun, but the pointer cannot actually move the camera. So really you have to use the Wiimote *and* the stick on the nunchuck to aim. This works OK when the zombies are on the other side of the map and you are sniping them. It doesn’t work so well if they get too close. In fact, the best way to use the new control scheme is to just hold the gun target near the middle of the screen and aim with the nunchuck stick. But if you are doing that, you might as well just be using a Gamecube controller.

Happily, if you want you can do just that. I plugged in my Wavebird and unplugged the nunchuck from the Wiimote and the game instantly switched the controls back into the classic GameCube configuration. I might spend one more session trying to acclimate to the new way, but I’m pretty sure I like the old way better.

No matter which control scheme you pick, RE4 on the Wii is still better than every single shooter that has been released for the Xbox or the 360 in the last three years. This will continue to be true until Halo 3 comes out.

The second game takes us from the world of bloody zombies to the world of adorable and cuddly pets that also engage in fierce turn-based combat. Four or five years ago, I had a fellow parent tell me that the Pokémon games were really some of the best RPGs out there. At the time my eyes glazed over and I sort of stepped away slowly. I was only dimly aware of Pokémon as some kind of card collecting game.

So I was surprised to get an IM from Pete a couple of weeks ago that went something like:

Pete: You know, this Pokémon game is just like a JPRG, only not annoying.
psu: Huh. Maybe I’ll try it.

In the end, I got Pearl and he got Diamond and he and my other buddy were right. Pokémon has distilled the three basic activities that appear in any RPG into a single streamlined game and stripped it of all the pretentious extras that RPGs usually try to layer on top of the gameplay. There are no heroes with amnesia, no worlds to save, no intricate yet juvenile narrative, no cut scenes, and no whiny NPCs who you would rather just kill. Instead, you do three things:

1. Go there and fight that.

2. Collect those.

3. Increase R.

I’m about 10 hours into the game and I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface. I can see myself playing this game in 20 minute snippets and one or two hour extended sittings for the rest of the year. Plus, there is the online battle angle and the integration with the upcoming Wii title. If they made a World of Pokémon MMO, I could probably not buy another RPG for the rest of my life. Hmm, perhaps that’s over the top.

Anyway, if all the sucky new games are getting you down, here are two alternatives. One is actually old, the other is only old by association with a long-standing franchise. But that’s close enough for me. Older games are always better.

…and I sort of suspect it’s a bad sign that the planned highlight of my week is likely to be the release of Pokémon Battle Revolution for the Wii.

More on that soon.

When I was a graduate student, I lived in North Carolina for a couple of years. I didn’t personally enjoy the area, although I can see why others might. One thing though. The fresh fish was fantastic. There was this guy just outside of town who would go to the coast every week and bring stuff back directly from the boats. In the summer, we’d gorge on snapper and live soft-shell crabs. Back in Pittsburgh, it’s been hard to find stuff that good. Until now.

Since they opened, I have had the pleasure of obtaining consistently excellent fish of all kinds from the newly opened Penn Avenue Fish Company in the strip. Everything I have gotten there has been uniformly excellent, but I feel I have to express extra appreciation for what they have done for me in the last couple of weeks.

First, they have become the only decent place in town where one can find live soft-shell crabs. These are almost as yummy as the NC ones.

Second, the snapper I got there this weekend was as good as any fish I have ever consumed anywhere on Earth.

Therefore, for you all reading out there, I have this ultimatum:

I don’t want to catch any of you buying fish in the city at any location in Pittsburgh other than the Penn Avenue Fish Company. Don’t make me cut you.

Ingredients:

-Juice of a lemon
-6 fresh figs
-lots of rum
-ice
-about a tablespoon of sugar (depending on how sweet the figs are, adjust to taste)

Instructions: blend everything and pour into a frosted glasses. Makes 2 big drinks.

The good: The fig texture works with the ice to create a drink that will stay frozen for a while, even when there is a ton and a half of rum in the drink. It tastes like fresh figs. It’s refreshing.
The bad: Boy, this sure is expensive for something that isn’t that much better than a standard girly-drink strawberry daiquiri.

Summary: An interesting experiment, but not one I’ll do again.

…and tonight, I will determine if it is possible to make a cocktail with them.

In what has become something of a yearly ritual, the time between early Spring and the next release of Madden brings with it almost nothing of interest to play. Last year, I was saved when Oblivion hit and kept me busy for a couple of months in this normally empty time. This year there is no such white knight to save the gaming industry from my disinterest. Worse, some new equipment and a nice overseas vacation have awakened other obsessions that have for the most part been dormant while the gaming obsession has taken its course.

It was probably inevitable that the lull this year would be worse than last. We are, after all, in the middle of an awkward, lurching transition into the latest generation of new hardware. There are not many good new games. Even Nintendo, the current darling of the universe, has only a few real titles for their adorable little box. Meanwhile, Sony is still selling stupidly expensive boxes that no one wants and Microsoft seems to think that the way to beat Sony is to do exactly the same thing. As a bonus, the Microsoft boxes also break all the time.

I think at some point the army of Sony first/second/third parties will step up to the plate and provide the machine with the library that it needs. I think when this happens the only thing the Xbox will really have going for it will be Halo 3, which I will play for a few months. Then maybe my 360 will melt and I can get just get rid of it.

All of this leaves me bored. I should be happily curled up with my copy of Puzzle Quest, or Pokemon Diamond or Paper Mario or Zelda instead of writing about how I’m not playing anything. Instead, I have found that I just don’t have the mental energy to invest right now. There are other things occupying those slots in my brain. Luckily, I can still get my gaming fix. I just let others do the playing for me.

Every week, I download the Gamers With Jobs podcast. Then I listen to these guys tell me what all they have been playing. It’s mostly a lot of obscure PC stuff (like World of Warcraft, ha ha just kidding) with the occasional console title or downloadable game tossed in for variety. They cover a lot of ground, and I get to hear about games that I probably would never attempt to play (I don’t own a PC). What the podcast does is allow me to vicariously consume some of the content of these games while never actually having to pick them up and play them. Thus, they remain latent objects, and as such can be somewhat idealized, and yet I still find out a bit about what goes on. The best of both worlds. It’s like reading a very detailed review or synopsis of the final season of The Sopranos. You get to find out roughly what happens, but you don’t have to sit through, or pay for, 20 hours of HBO content to do it.

For years, I have had a similar relationship with World of Warcraft. For various reasons that are too boring to go into, I will never play this game. Luckily, I don’t really need to because everyone else on Earth has already done so and told me what it’s like. I have one buddy who shall remain “anonymous” who has had his entire gaming life replaced with WoW. Where he used to play two or three different games each week, I believe he’s basically done nothing but WoW since the game launched. Whenever I need any new poop on the game, I just ask him. And, if I really need to be immersed in the WoW culture, I can go and watch that episode of South Park again. Really, that’s all I need to know.

The result of all of this is that I’m not feeling too bad mired in my little lull. The combination of other activities and these indirect gaming streams will keep me busy until the next thing comes along. Meanwhile, the occasional bout with the DS and a few innings of baseball on the PSP have been enough to keep my gaming brain happy.

Note

As a side note, if you don’t know about Gamers with Jobs let me encourage you to go over there. It has the distinction of being the only place on the Interweb that I am familiar with that has a “message forum” where nitwits and assholes are largely absent (except for me). This is nothing short of a minor modern miracle.

I had what started off as an extremely productive weekend. I got a lot of work done at my job, did some house stuff, changed the oil on the car, and was otherwise efficient and in a good mood. As a reward, I decided to play some more Forza 2, a game I’m reviewing for PTD Magazine. I’ve been enjoying Forza, and approached my Xbox 360 with some enthusiasm. This should have been a warning sign. Because, inevitably, as soon as I turned the machine on, 3 blinky red lights appeared, and the machine was officially as dead as a doornail.

The machine was one year and one month old. Translated, that means the machine was one month out of warranty. 45 minutes on the phone with Microsoft customer service in Durban or Chennai or somewhere resulted in them agreeing to drop the repair fee from $140 to $65.

Now, there are a few directions in which I could take this article. First would be the observation that I would rather simply not use an Xbox 360 than pay $140 to get it fixed, and that from Microsoft’s perspective, asking for that much seems sort of, well, goofy. You’re already losing money on the console. The only way you reach profitability is if I buy games. But this isn’t really a topic about which there’s very much to say. Philosophically, it’s not actually surprising to be asked to pay money to fix a machine that’s out of warranty.

Perhaps a little more interesting is that they dropped the price simply because I bitched about it. That seems to me to be a poor customer service experience by definition. It’s used up 45 minutes of their support time, and I’m left with that “just negotiated to buy a new car” sort of feeling. Maybe if I’d stayed on the phone for an hour they’d have dropped the price by another 25%? Will someone who reads this article who did pay $140 to fix their machine now be furious and feel ripped off by Microsoft? It just seems to me that by removing certainty from the equation you’re making the entire experience more hateful, and squandering company goodwill on something that, in the long run, is pretty picayune. Either make the transaction completely painless from the beginning (”Here’s your new Xbox 360,”) or stick to your guns (”We’re sorry that you don’t want to pay the repair fee, sir. Have a nice day.”) But making the transaction turn into a negotiation worthy of an Algerian souk just seems pennywise and pound foolish.

But the most interesting question to me is that of consumer electronics and reliability. Now, I’m picking on Microsoft here because I own a console that blew up, but I presume that once 10 or 20 people buy PS3’s we will see similar reliability problems with those machines as well. Consider how unusual it is to hear of nonportable consumer electronic devices that just stop working a year after purchase. How old is your DVD player? How old is your stereo receiver? 2 years old? 5? 10? I still have VCRs that work after 20 years, and those have more moving parts than an Xbox. As long as we’re talking about game consoles, I still have Atari 2600s that work just fine. Yet the Xbox 360 has developed such a reputation for bursting into (virtual) flame that its failure mode has garnered a nickname and a Wikipedia article.

This is the collision of two worlds: the world of computer hardware and software, where the people developing on the “bleeding edge” expect some number of problems, and the world of consumer electronics, where things are supposed to just work. I’m extremely unimpressed with any company pushing products that lean towards the former rather than the latter.

I understand the technical reasons why the Xbox 360 is prone to hardware failure: Microsoft chose a design where they crammed a bunch of extremely high end equipment into as small a case as they could manage. Their engineering decisions create unreasonable amounts of heat, and unreasonable amounts of heat lead to an unreasonably low mean time between failures. That there are technical reasons for the console bursting into flame whenever a goldfinch looks at it sideways doesn’t make it acceptable.

In the meantime, we can compare this to the Nintendo Wii, which, through conservative design and engineering puts out nearly no heat, and certainly has not (yet) garnered a reputation for being unreliable.

All of which leads me to the question: what good is the most advanced graphics subsystem in the world if you’re incapable of packaging it in a way that performs reliably for an acceptable period of time?

10. Clifford The Big Dead Dog (peterb)

9. If You Give A Mouse Some Serum (peterb)

8. Horton Hears His Doom (peterb)

7. Goodnight, World (peterb)

6. Where The Dead Things Are (kosak)

5. Bedknobs and Boomsticks (peterb)

4. Olivia’s Favorite Flesh Eaters (psu)

3. One Vein, Two Vein, Red Vein, Blue Vein (peterb)

2. Click, Clack, GGGGgggaaaarrrrrrrgggghhh (psu)

1. Green Eggs and Hand (peterb)

Please feel free to pile on with your own suggestions in the comments.