Today’s entry is brought to you courtesy of Nintendo, who has given us all a first look at the controller for their upcoming home game console, the Revolution.
It’s a pretty simple contest: caption this picture! If, in so captioning, you should happen to let slip what you think of the device, so much the better.
My entry:
From the company that brought you Virtual Boy.
(Really, once you see it “in action” it’s not quite as bad as all that. But that was still my first reaction.)
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“OK, this one is the vaginal probe and that one is the anal probe… right? Or is it the other way around?”
Damn, the first comment steals my thunder…
Oh well:
Nintendo reaches out to women gamers with a re-designed rumble pack. -or-
From the company that brought you Virtual Boy:
http://oralcaress.com/Conair_big.jpg
>Nintendo breaks with more than 20 years of video >game history by abandoning the traditional >controller held with two hands and introducing an >all-new freehand-style unit held with one hand.
I must have been drinking heavily, because I could have sworn I saw *two* hands there.
“Nintendo unveiled the new specialty controller for their much anticpated Pokemon Channel 2: Don’t Touch the Dial!”
The new Nintendo Revolution controller now with 33% less playability.
“Right: basic controller unit. Left: optional ‘joy-tit’ module.”
(…latest in a great line of device names, following joy-stick and
track-clit. Please help us ensure that this new one catches on.
Gaming history is counting on you.)
Super Mario Sunshine Trance Vibrator
That’s a pretty elaborate garotte controller for the next Hitman game.
(Seriously, it’s a REMOTE CONTROL. If it’s supposed to be a weird pointy magic wand thingy, they should have made it look less like a REMOTE CONTROL. That doesn’t say “revolution” to me, it says “shut up and watch your television.)
Nintendo: right angles. Except the curvy bit.
I’m not sure where the big N are going with this. I can totally appreciate reaching out to the VERY casual gamer (they are a big audience), which this might do very well, but there again the VERY casual gamer won’t be willing to spend a lot of money on hardware; and the Revolution hardware might quite deliberately not be mega-powerful but I’m sure it won’t be cheap either.
Also works as Battle Weapon for forthcoming VR game: Double Dragon Revolution: Dance Dance Nunchakus
CRAP! All I want to do is change the channel – which button is CHANNEL UP?
Brian
http://myvogonpoetry.com
“His and Hers.”
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=165