We here at Tea Leaves don’t rate things that we review. In particular, we don’t rate the video games that we review. After all, we are self-absorbed wankers with an inflated opinion of the quality of our own writing. We would like to think that we provide insightful, almost literary commentary rather than a simple consumerist analysis. We want to tell you what it’s like to play the game, and maybe a little bit about what the game means. Of course this is all just pretentious nonsense. We play the games and then we write down the first random thought that pops into our heads.
In this spirit, today I present a new ratings system for the video games that we write about. I call it the “Ebay” rating system. The principle is pretty simple. I buy a game. I rate the game according to the number of times I play the game before I give up on it and sell it on Ebay. The scale is from 1 to 5. If I make it to 5, then the game is at least worth keeping. These days, that’s about the highest praise that I can muster.
This system is inspired by my most recent scheme of avoiding Gamefly. The scheme is also simple. Find someone who will sell your games on Ebay for you for free. Then, whenever you get the urge to try a new game that you are not sure of, don’t worry. Buy the game at full price and play it for a week. If you can’t make it through five sessions without avoiding that seething hatred and general frustration, have your Ebay friend list it. Inevitably, some moroncustomer out on the interweb will show up and pay you apromixately five dollars less than retail to take your game away from you. Why these people don’t just walk down to the local Target and buy the game for five dollars more is a question that will never be answered by God or Man.
Anyway. The first game I used this system on was the 360 version of NCAA Football. Man, I tried to like that game. I played it every night for a week, and every single session ended with me staring at the television with a look of complete confusion and disbelief on my face. I simply could not fathom how a game could be so completely frustrating to play.
Later, I picked up the 360 Splinter Cell, which I reviewed here. Under the new system, the game would rate about a three. I got $55 for the thing.
For reasons that still elude me I bought Rainbow Six Vegas sometime after this. I think I also bought Final Fantasy XII at the same time. Rainbow Six lasted 3 nights. FFXII is a solid 5. I played it for a good month and plan to keep playing it for at least another week.
I believe I used the proceeds from the Rainbow Six sale to buy the Xbox (not 360) version of the new Splinter Cell game, which I have enjoyed. It’s at about a 4 now, but if I make it into the second set of missions I think it will reach the plateau of a 5.
So there you have it. Never let it be said that we here at Tea Leaves can’t occasionally distill our content into easy digestible bits. Plus, it’s cheaper than Gamefly!
Well done! I hope you have a small tea leaf icon to mark the score. I like the pretentious nonsense too, of course. Keep it coming.
RS: Vegas has been a favourite of mine for a while now. The co-op is top notch. Of course, being a Clancy game you have to make some effort to avoid the plot, but it usually doesn’t show up besides the two-sentence briefing bit at the lobby. I just wish the game had a bit less bugs, I don’t think I’ve seen as buggy a console game before. Also, a button to skip those bloody helicopter scenes in the beginning would be nice…
My problems with Vegs can be summed up in two points
1. Enemies I can’t see head shot me all the time.
2. Then, after figuring all that out, I get put in a weird level where I have to run around Halo style with a shotgun… except the shotgun sort of sucks.
The fact that savepoints were two hours apart didn’t help either.
1. In single player, let your squad mates worry about that. Send them in first. They can shoot better anyway. In co-op, define areas to watch. I guess I consider this part of the tactical shooter genre. If I get headshotted by an enemy I haven’t seen, it’s usually my fault. Me, or someone from the team should’ve been looking in that direction.
One exception though. The game has to make sure I have a chance to see the enemy or give me some reason to, say, suspect a sniper might be present. I’m none too fond of restarting because someone shot me from a building half a mile away. (Not a problem in Vegas so much, but GRAW) Vegas also has a nasty habit of spawning enemies in places which you’ve already cleared. That’s low. There’s a particularly nasty example of that later, when the game basically drops a guy right behind you.
2. I know precisely what you mean. The tunnel level. I’m actually stuck in that at the moment. No savepoints, all enemies have a shotgun for that instakill goodness, almost no proper cover and no squad mates. The worst time I’ve had with the game so far and it’s not even that far in the campaign. The pistol helps a bit, by the way. You can usually take out one guy with a headshot before they see you.
Interestingly, when playing the same mission in co-op, none of this is a problem. The missions are quite different, since they’ve removed almost all the scripted moments.