Ammo for the Coming Zombiepocalypse

On December 28, 2009, in Culture, by peterb

Alert reader Brendan, noting that I was talking about buying ammo on Twitter, asks, “What’s the best generally available shot load (i.e. on shelves at Walmart) for the coming zombiepocalypse?”

The most popular size shotgun shell is surely still the 12 gauge. 12 gauge, 2 3/4 inch shells should fit most shotguns that you are likely to find lying around in deserted office buildings after the zombie plague begins. The most common shotshell type probably has fairly small shot, #7 or #7 1/2 (larger numbers mean smaller balls, smaller numbers mean larger balls). These aren’t really ideal for taking out human zombies, but should be adequate to dispose of the huge numbers of zombie dogs that are likely to be roving the streets, searching for brains (Key unanswered questions: do zombie dogs want to eat human brains, or canine brains?) They are, however, cheap and plentiful. You’ll want the largest shot you can find, or better yet slugshells. For survivors with a lighter build, such as your ex-wife, younger teenagers, or that annoying girl who cries all the time and is constantly saying “We’re all going to die!” you probably want to stick with a 20 gauge – the gun itself is likely to be lighter. 16 gauge ammo is hard to find except at speciality shops, and anything smaller than 20 gauge is probably not worth using.

The truth is, though, for use against formerly-human zombies, I think the shotgun is probably not the weapon of choice, despite its historical popularity in fending off zombie attacks. The fact of the matter is that in order to disable or kill the zombie, you’ll need to be at almost point-blank range. Since, as everyone knows, zombies travel in groups, if you’re at point blank range with the zombies you are likely to be overwhelmed, typically just as your fellow survivors are shouting at you to get the engine of the car started or to reach the safe room with the barred door. Although I personally have no experience with this sort of anti-zombie combat, I would think that a rifle with high penetration would be much more likely to let you kill the zombie by destroying its brains via a headshot, and furthermore might let you do it at a safe range. I don’t know enough about rifles to make an informed recommendation on this point.

I hope this helps, and may you and your family make it to safety.

 

5 Responses to “Ammo for the Coming Zombiepocalypse”

  1. chris says:

    Note that a rifle is poor choice (as was proven in the last Resident Evil movie) as you have to be far more accurate with your shots. If you have room to play with, 200-300 yds then sure, a rifle beats a shotgun any day.

    If you are in close quarters, the aforemetioned office complex, you’ll want the old-reliable standby close quarters equalizer: Remington 870 Pump in 12 gauge. You’ll want, I feel, buckshot though. The 32 guage balls should have, in most house/office scenarios enough power to get to the brain, given a head-area shot.

    happy zombie hunting, my son notes that they are in fact looking for brains, to eat. (he’s four though…)

  2. ChrisC says:

    To really choose the right weapon, you have to ask the question “what does it take to kill (or repel) a zombie?”

    I’m surprised you say you have to shoot it in the brains. I thought if a zombie ate your brains you would become a zombie? If that is the case, there aren’t much brains left to hit. (Which might explain why zombies are so stupid.) Zombies appear to be just fine if they have a hole in them, people will die with a hole in them.

    Hence you want a weapon which will not just lodge a projectile in the remains of the zombie’s brains, but will obliterate them. Try this: shoot guns at a piece of drywall at short range. You will find that a rifle merely makes a small hole, and a shotgun will obliterate a large circle (with the diameter increasing as the range increases). I’d go for obliteration over small holes any day. It’s the only way to be sure.

  3. seki says:

    regardless of the ammo, don’t forget to Double Tap.

  4. Jason says:

    I don’t know much about the specifics of guns, but it’s key to remember that stopping power (ie, slowing or knocking down the zombie) is at least as important as killing power. Sometimes you just need a few seconds to get in the car, and after that it won’t matter if the zombie is defunct or just staggered. I’d think for that, you’d want a rifle for range, and a high caliber, low penetration round. Something that will impart all of its kinetic energy to the zombie, the better to take it off its feet, or take out enough of the head to put it down for good, if you’re a good shot. High penetration will just go right through, perhaps not slowing it down, or destroying enough of the brain to be effective.

    It’s always good to have a shotgun for close encounters, though. ChrisC is right about the damage a shotgun inflicts at close range, and being able to take down a zombie while just aiming near his head is priceless when they’re close and you’re panicky.

    Just avoid breach loaders. Anything with only two shots is only good as an improvised baseball bat.

  5. Brucey says:

    for my money I’d bet on blunt weapons, like an aluminum louisville slugger. light weight, easily picks up enough force to put a zombie on the ground, and never ever runs out of bullets. The shotgun is nice for crowd control if you have a few yards between you, but if there is one thing i know about zombies, the one that gets you is the one that sneaks up on you when you’re reloading or out of ammo or just can’t aim and shoot in time.

    I’ve been wondering on a related subject, for treating bites to the extremities, about how long do you think you’ve got to amputate?