HOUR 1: Hey! Guys! I got DOOM 3! Whooooooo!
HOUR 2: Stupid installer erased my datebook.
HOUR 3: OK, it’s running. Why is everything so slow? What the hell?
DAY 2: Got new videocard at CompUSA. Runs OK now, when not crashing.
DAY 3: Couldn’t take crashing. Bought new computer.
DAY 3: Still crashing. Hate everyone.
DAY 4: No friends playing; computers all too slow. Maybe play with strangers?
DAY 5: 13 year old kids humiliating me. Hate everyone and everything.
DAY 6: I will master this. Stayed home from work to practice.
DAY 7: Boss called. Told him I had plague.
DAY 8: Lost to Estonian third-grade girl, 16-0. Hate everyone and everything in the entire universe.
DAY 10: Stopped playing stupid game. Will wait for Halo 2.
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Hey! Guys! I got DOOM 3! Whooooooo!
DAY -10: Preordered Doom 3! Bought new computer to play it on! WOOOO!
DAY -9.5: Computer exploded. Took parts to shifty place I bought it from.
DAY -3: Shifty place forgot to fix computer until I started calling them daily.
DAY -2: Blah blah something about grounding but (not crazy!) also bad memory sticks.
DAY 0: Computer finally ready about an hour after I pick up my copy of Doom.
HOUR 0-2: Installer works great. It just takes two hours for me to get all of the updates & etc (for Windows, that is).
HOUR 3: YAY!!! THIS LOOKS AWESOME!
HOUR 3.5: Why does it crash whenever I go to the menu?
HOUR 4: Shit, gotta go to Canada.
DAY 5: Back. Updated video drivers. YAY! Looks great.
DAY 5.2: Why does City of Heroes crash!?
DAY 6: OHHHH, I have to update the MOTHERBOARD DRIVER. That’s fucking genius is what it is.
DAY 6.5: No crashes, fingers crossed. Why didn’t I just get an XBox? Oh yeah, because this looks FUCKING AWESOME. And because I NEVER EVER LEARN.
I am mocking you now, but it is gentle mocking, full of love and sadness and sympathy, and only a small amount of “I told you so.”