What we drive speaks volumes about us. But sometimes, the message that we think we’re giving off isn’t the message everyone hears.
| The Car | The Owner Thinks | Everyone Else Thinks |
|---|---|---|
| Any minivan | “I am a responsible mother, dedicated to the safety of my children.” | “These annoying breeders are everywhere.” |
| Any SUV | “I am not driving a minivan. See this car? Not a minivan. It cost twice as much, because it is definitely not a minivan.” | “Great. Now the really stupid breeders are everywhere too.” |
| Toyota Prius | “I care about the environment” | “If he really cared about the environment, he’d be using public transit.” |
| Honda Element | “How come the guy in the Prius is getting dates with all the hippie chicks?” | “Clowns are scary.” |
| BMW Z3 | “Ahhhh, German engineering.” | “You are driving a chick car.” |
| Porsche Boxster | “I am sporty, yet sophisticated.” | “He couldn’t afford a Porsche 911″ |
| Porsche 911 | “I have an 8 inch penis.” | “He is bald.” |
| Ferrari 360 Modena | “I don’t care what you think of me, because my trophy wife is 40 years younger than me.” | “I got nothin’.” |
| Camaro | “I’m gonna go down to Donzi’s tonight and score.” | “I thought dinosaurs were extinct.” |
| Ford Escort/Focus | “I am economical.” | “He is cheap.” |
| Subaru WRX | “Check out my Rallisport style!” | “At least he doesn’t have those spinning hubcaps.” |
Feel free to add entries in the comments as appropriate.
P.S.: On one final note, I couldn’t find a place for the Porsche Cayenne in this table, because I can’t imagine what anyone who buys it could possibly be thinking. But I just wanted to assure all of you Cayenne owners out there: the rest of us think you’re utter cocks.
P.P.S.: I humped your hummer (via green la girl).
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Hmmm… I’d go bald in exchange for a porsche 911.
I thought a Mazda Miata was a “chick car”. Only without the German Engineering part.
Actually, the Miata is a brilliant racing machine cleverly disguised as a chick car. Whereas the Z3 is just girly.
So what do you drive, peterb?
It’s obvious from the table that Peter is looking for a new car but can not decide between Toyota’s (and GM’s) recently announced (leaked) plug-in hybrid and the Ferrari.
Bah; I bought a slate Gray Mazda 6 because I thought it was a combination of sportiness and practicality. I didn’t realize it meant that I really desired to hide among the crowd and never be detected.
I would have thought that my infamous stinginess would make it obvious that I own an ancient beat-up Ford Escort.
In my defense, though, when I decided to buy it my other car was a BMW motorcycle.