The Computer Science D&D Spellbook

On November 14, 2006, in Computers, by peterb

We can’t help it. We’re doubly cursed: we program computers and we spent all our time in Junior High School playing D&D while you were having sloppy makeouts at the good parties we weren’t invited to.

So let’s do this thing.

21. Detect Lie Algebra (agroce)

20. Osterhaut’s Ostentatious Optimization (peterb)

19. Summon Dire Knuth (peterb)

18. Prismatic Assert (peterb)

17. Detect Dijkstra (psu)

16. Ready, Set, Unify (psu)

15. Comprehend O-Notation (peterb)

14. Triple Convex Hull Tanker (psu)

13. Patch (peterb)

12. Cause Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (peterb)

11. Cure Serious Bug (roc)

10. Unwind Stack (psu)

9. Dispel Bubblesort (jch)

8. Create Illusion (Of Progress) (roc)

7. Power Word Kill -9 (baird)

6. Bigby’s Finger of Blame (jch)

5. Collect Garbage (psu)

4. Virtualize Self (baird)

3. Polymorph Args (baird)

2. Decompose Singular Value (psu)

1. Tenser’s Floating Heap (peterb)

 

11 Responses to “The Computer Science D&D Spellbook”

  1. Eddy says:

    Rofl. Very good, I’m going to link to you.

  2. Tom Moertel says:

    Bravo! You have outdone yourselves. If I had any of my homemade apple pie left, I’d give you a slice. Instead, I’ll offer these:

    Write Barrier
    Gauntelts of Lambda Lifting
    Comprehend Perl
    Hold Unevaluated Thunks
    Protection From Segmentation Faults
    Minor Globe of Indirectivity
    Power Word Cons
    Transmute Imperative to Functional
    Stack of Many Things
    -1 Pointer (Cursed)

  3. Tim F says:

    Hold Person Overtime, Unpaid
    Summon Spaghetti Code VIII
    Cure Serious Bug
    Comprehend Nerds
    Leomund’s Tiny Cubicle
    Otto’s Irresistable Trollbait
    Entropic Maintenance Cycle
    Know Word Alignment
    Hold Mountain Dew
    Tenser’s Pointer to Pointer
    Raise Legacy Code
    goto
    Expeditious Refactor
    Smite New Hire
    Nystul’s Funky Aura
    Mordenkainen’s Private Key
    Bigby’s Wrist Splint
    Feeblecode

  4. psu says:

    Transform alpha symbol

  5. Andrew Plotkin says:

    Priority Queue of Sustarre
    Otiluke’s Freezing Machine Room

  6. Christina says:

    Bless Any Key
    Spectral Handle
    Wizard Deadlock
    Coresight

  7. Mike Collins says:

    For years I’ve been explaining the problem with IDS as an attempt to implement “detect evil”….

    Transmute P to NP (May be 1st or 9th level depending on setting)
    Turing’s Irretreivable Halting
    Transmute 4 to Any Value
    Splay Trees
    Create Perfect Hash

  8. peterb says:

    I love each and every one of you. YOU ARE MY PEOPLE.

  9. peterb says:

    In retrospect, I think “Summon Dire Knuth” has a nicer ring to it.

  10. Ehdonhon says:

    Circle of Protection from Emacs
    Coerce Object
    Boots of FreeBSD
    Open Source

  11. Doug says:

    summon wxPython
    ctrl-Y (resurrect) Killed line (only available to those who have made a pact with emacs)
    detect evil OS